David Ledain lives on the south coast in the UK. He has two sons and was married to their mother for twenty-four years. For twelve of those years, married life was happy and conventional, until one day, when David’s wife discovered something. The man she’d married and hoped had suppressed his bisexual tendencies in favour of a strong bond and love for her, was in fact still yearning for the intimacy of men.
“All I knew for sure about myself was that I was not ‘gay’ in the conventional sense of what that means or what I understood it to mean. I fitted more easily into a ‘heterosexual’ or ‘metrosexual’ existence, and I say this not simply because it was an easier option, though clearly it was, but from the perspective of my character. Although I married a woman and before that had girlfriends too, I am not attracted to women sexually in any way. I know that now, yet I spent years pretending and deceiving myself that that was not the case. I thought that if I could appreciate the aesthetic curves of someone like Marilyn Monroe, and was able to perform in bed with women, then I must have been bisexual. Now I simply say that I’m gay and that’s it. Perhaps, had the pressure to conform not been so prevalent in my early years, had my choices been wider and there been any role models I could have looked up to other than David Bowie, then who knows how my life might have turned out.”